"HERE I GO AGAIN....

....ON MY OWN."

As the song goes, I have been spending alot of this holiday (since Christmas) alone. I have been working and 'paying my dues', as the saying goes. It is so different to be in my apartment with no one here. I had to work Christmas, so come back to an empty apartment on Christmas night we one of the saddest, most lonely feelings ever felt! I opened my presents and ended up just going to bed. It really didn't feel like Christmas! I have a new Respect for anyone who must spend Christmas alone!

I also had to work this weekend, which was extremely difficult. I had very hard patients and knowing my family was in Hilton Head made things even harder. Whom ever said growing up was fun must be crazy! haha In all seriousness, it has been a different holiday season for me. I have been very lonely and cried alot; however, I have realized how blessed I truly am to have such a wonderful support system. Most of my girlfriends sent me text messages or called me on Christmas, knowing it was a hard day for me. Brittany and Andin cooked me dinner Saturday and Dana and I went to dinner Friday. They both knew I needed a close friend. My amazing roomates left me a stocking for me to have on Christmas, knowing I would need something to cheer me up. And, me parents, cousin, and brother and sister-in-law sent me presents to open so I wouldn't be so sad on Christmas night.

I am one amazingly blessed person and i know that every Christmas from here on out with be different because I will appreciate my time with family soooo much more. This has been an amazing time of growth for me and I am greatful for some time alone.....

My First Christmas away from home....

After being in Knoxville for a week, I drove back to Alabama on Chistmas Eve because I have to work on Christmas day... I knew this was coming, but it is still sad. Everyone count your blessings you get to be home for Christmas morning with your families.
But, I am blessed because I get to be in Huntsville tonight (the 2nd best place on earth). haha . I am thankful Jon is sharing his amazing family with me for Christmas eve. They are making me feel so at home. I told Mrs. Frazier a while ago the my family always opens PJ's the night before Christmas. So, guess what they did? We all got PJ's after Christmas Eve Dinner!! The Hills and Fraziers practically are family, so if I can't be in Knoxville, this is where I would choose to be.
5am will come early in the morning, but I have to remember that I will be helping people and I'm sure that will bring me great joy. I am already missing my family and our Christmas traditions, but it's like my dad said... "Only Angels work on Christmas."

O Christmas Tree....

... O Christmas Tree, how lovely are your branches. Yes, you guessed it- last night, we put up our first Christmas Tree! Hayden's parents brough it back for us and we decorated it last night. It was so fun talking about our own family traditions as we decorated the tree-for example, Megan always does the lights from top to bottom, and Hayden and me always do the lights from bottom to top at our houses. It is amazing to be how we all form our own traditions as we move along through life. Forming out own traditions as roomates is exciting and shows me just how much I treasure the traditions my family has at Christmas and throughout the year!

Our apartment now feels like Christmas to me, which is ever so comforting! It has that smell and the lights just make things so much happier and brighter! So, the coundown begins... 22 days till Christmas!

Rocky Top will ALWAYS be HOME SWEET HOME to me!

A sad thing has happened in Atlanta, GA today.. Tennessee lost the SEC championship. We have the worst luck in the championship, but then again, it was a miracle we made it there with the season we had... losing to both of our rivals (bama and fla). Oh, well.. ya win some and lose some.

Jon and I had tickets for the game, but decided to stay and run in a 5K race we had registered for a while back. We had an absolute blast! We had to walk some because Jon is not in the best of shape, but ended up finishing in 36 minutes. In the three and 1/2 years we have dated, we've never done anything like that together, so it was a first.

GiViNg ThAnKs.......

I made it home last night for the thanksgiving holiday. Since I have to work on Christmas, I was completely and totally blessed that I am off until next Monday and got to come home for THanksgiving! This really is my favorite holiday because I just love the traditions my family has. We always get up and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and then get ready and go to Tazewell, where both of my grandmothers are. WE spend the day there, having lunch and dinner with my amazing aunts, uncles and cousins. At my mom's mother's, the ORIGINAL Lenore ;), everyone goes around and write what they are thankful for on this big poster board and we refelect on the events of each person in the fam for that year. I love doing this b/c we pull out the ones from the years past and see how much we have changed or grown up.
So, in preparation for tomorrow, this is what I AM THANKFUL FOR...........

• THe amazing love of Christ Jesus
• My wonderful parents, Ryan and Jenny and my amazing grandmothers
• The close group of friends I walked away from college with.. I couldn't live w/o these girls
• My Jonathan
• The educational opporunities I have been afforded
• My job, which I am starting to love
• Getting to come HoMe SwEeT HoMe
• Drinking coffee and watching the today show
• Long afternoon walks and dinner dates with my roomates
• Watching the Hills and getting take out with Hay and Meg... LOVE IT!
• Grey's nights with the girls
• Starbucks at Christmas time and Weigel's cappucino

SOme are more lighthearted than others, but I have so very much to be thankful for..... Remember to count your blessings tomorrow and don't forget to eat ALOT!... :) Happy Thanksgiving 2007

Cooking time with Lindsay

Tonight I hosted a thanksgiving dinner at my apartment for my RN supper club. These are girls that I graduated from nursing school with these girls and each month we get together for dinner. I love my time spent with them because we get to talk about the joys and difficulties of nursing. These girls are dear to my heart.
Preparing everything for dinner was most enjoyable to me! I felt like my mom, who cooks like no one else can. I see more and more everyday how she impacts the way I do things. For example, I went to get some gerbera daises for the dinner, just because she makes sure to have fresh flowers when having guests. While I don't think I will ever be able to do things as good as she does, I certainly will try to... I sure do have a long way to go! As my roomate taught me tonight, don't make a dish without the recipe!

the Calm AFTER the Storm....

This weekend, I experienced the calming power of Jesus. In light of Jonathan's wreck on Thursday, I was made all too aware of the fragility of life. I barely slept a wink Thursday night and I was on edge seeing how anxious Jonathan was when we were in the car on Friday. I watched him like a hawk all weekend while we were with his family in Huntsville. I went to a shower and went shopping with his mom and sister all day; all the while, I kept thinking, what if he has a sever headache, blurred vision, etc... My nursing mind was playing against me.
In church today, the pastor discussed God's Amazing Grace. My eyes were opened to what I had failed to do: Rely on God. I prayed a prayer and in that instant, felt a calming sense of peace. The Lord had his hand on Jon and on me last Thursday. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, but we are guaranteed God's presence and with that, we can surely make it through anything. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!

Puting things into Perspective....

Have you ever had your life flash in front of you? Have you ever thought of going through life without the love of your life?
Today, I had to think about both of these questions because Jonathan was a pretty serious wreck. He was hit head on and when he got out of the car, he fell to the ground. He called 911, then me. All I head was, "I'm on the hill, Bleeding, HURRY!"When I got to him, he was laying on the pavement with a puddle of blood around his head. Immediately all my nursing sense left me and I was speechless. Looking at him soaked in blood is an image I will never forget. I have never felt as scared as I did at that moment. I knew I had to stay strong for him. I applied pressure to his head until the paramedics got there. I was fine until they put him in a neck brace and onto a stretcher. He told me he loved me and would see me at the ER. As I watched them put him in the ambulance, I lost it and started crying.
Luckily someone drove me to the hospital and when I got to him, he was much more calm than when I'd left him. I had to give everyone his insurance info and all that. The nurse was asking him all kinds of questions and then asked for his emergency contact. When he said me and gave them my number, I started to tear up. This made me realize just how important we are to eachother. He is my best friend, the love of my life and someone I can't imagine going through life without.
After stiches, a CT scan and 4 hours in the ER, we left and went to Jon's last Football game. Yes, it was senior night and he was unable to play. I think that was hard for him, but certainly miniscule compared to the events of the day.
When I lay my head to bed tonight, I am going to say a special prayer of thanksgiving for the Lord's hand over Jon today. I realized your life can change at any moment, so don't ever forget to tell those closest to you how much you love them. You never know what tomorrow brings......

The Beginning.....

So, I just got home from working a 12-hour shift in the SICU and instead of hopping into bed, I am sitting beside my roomate, Hayden, and we have just decided to join in the world of blogging. I am hoping this will keep me in close touch with my amazing family back in Knoxville, TN and my friends for whom I cannot see everyday.
My life is a worldwind right now, passing by right in front of my eyes. I work as a full-time RN at Princeton Hospital and am in school full-time for Family Nurse Practitioner. I am living with two of my favorite people: Hayden and Megan. They are not only my sorority sisters, but have become two of the best friends I will ever have. I love living in Birmingham, but would never have thought I would live here for an extended period of time. While I do miss Knoxville and my AMAZING parents, I know this is where the Lord wants me right now. I am learning so much about myself and what I want for my life. Being independent is both scary and exciting, but I am loving every minute of it....
I work my last 12-hour shift of the week tomorrow and then I'm looking forward to a few days off......